Although I'm not thrilled with what being 41 has done to my body, I do love what it has done to my mind. I'm always discovering things about life, about myself. It's a wonderful time of life. My latest thoughts have been on our move to town.
living...in town v. out of town
So I was born and raised in the city, Seattle to be exact. Really grew up in the suburbs but spent much, much, much time actually downtown. That is where my parents are from, where their parents lived, my mom would take me on regular weekend trips to the the Pike Place Market where she would get fresh fruit, veges, fish. I remember going to the first Starbucks at the Market before Starbucks was what it is today...my mom would get coffee and buy me a chunk of white chocolate which they would take out of a big jar and weigh. We went to Seattle to see off beat films. Downtown was where our childhood doctor was. We'd go parades, bazaars, etc. It was just a big part of our everyday life. I went to college at the University of Washington while living downtown for years, etc. So, at 35, moving to Libby, Montana with a population of a few thousand was quite different than what I was used to. And believe me when I say that it didn't come without some challenges, in which I owe my mental survival to JD and my mom.
Less than a year prior to moving to Libby, we purchased 12 acres of property about 10 miles out of downtown Libby that had an old, beat up, 1966 doublewide trailer on it. I HAD to have this property and trailer and insisted to JD that we buy it for our family. We looked at buying actual houses, but for whatever reason, I felt like this was the place for us. JD spent many weekends driving from Seattle to Libby gutting the trailer, putting new flooring in so that it was clean enough to live in. Our house in Seattle sold a lot quicker than we had anticipated, so we lived for a few months with my parents before making our final move to Libby.
When we all got there, there was still much work to be done in the trailer and on the property and I have to say, JD did the majority of it, removing years of old junk from the property, fixing plumbing, electricty, etc. Meanwhile I painted the enitre interior of the trailer because for whatever reason, I was perfectly happy to live in an ancient doublewide tin-sided trailer, but was not willing to have wood colored paneling. In short order, it felt like this is where we were meant to be, it was home in every sense of the word. However; as time passed, we grew out of our little trailer and knew we had to find a place where our family could live comfortably. We went back and forth between building on that property or purchasing a house elsewhere in Libby. We even went so far as to make offers on homes, over the years, which never seemed to work out. On the option of building on the other side of our property, we went as far as to have a 650 foot well drilled, electricty put in, hired an architect to draw house plans and even purchased a lumber package to begin building. Our plan was to build our own home, and when I say "our plan," I really mean JD :). Well at some point, JD decided that building a home was definitely not how he wanted to spend his free time. He was still commuting to Seattle for work and his time in Libby was precious. So, we stored most of our lumber in the barn and bought, big canvas tarps to protect what would not fit in the barn from the weather, and began searching for a home again. As the search lagged on, eventually we found ourselves looking at homes right IN town in actual neighborhoods. It definitely wasn't what I had in mind, however; JD pointed out many benefits. Such as...not driving 100+ miles back and forth to town on a daily basis between school, sports, groceries, etc. I know I could have planned my trips and cut my driving down by half, but a planner...I am not. Also, there were kids in these neighborhoods for our kids to play with. So, somehow we bought a house in a neighborhood with actual neighbors and our privacy went right out the door.
We did and do make the best of living in town, we walk to town, walk to the baseball fields during baseball season, school is a mile away and my job is a mile away, I mean who can beat that commute, right? And...I love our house, it's very simple. I describe it as "Everything we need and nothing we don't." Perfect. Very modest and comfortable, again, feels like home. It's well built, perfect amount of space, not a bunch of extra space that we bought but don't need or use. I love this little house. But...over the last almost 2 years of living in town...I am confident I want to live out of town again. I want to live back on our property where the kids and I spent summer after summer in Libby Creek, and walk, running, and riding hundreds of miles along Champion Haul Road, total peace and quiet with deer all over in the pasture and occasional sightings of bear, moose, and even the cougar that the neighbors saw, the adentures JD would take us on in the Ranger downt he creek and over the mountain, bon fires, and all kinds of good country living. Isn't that why we moved here?
I think the chances of this happening are slim to none. That opportunity may just be in the past. Not sure how we could sell this house and I love it enough that I don't relish the thought of renting it and having it not taken care of. In addition, the fact that JD still commutes leaves us with the problem of him spending his free time when home building a house. So, I'll continue to make the absolute best of living in town. Afterall, something else I've learned with age is not to dwell on the should have, would have, could have, becuase time keeps on moving forward even if you're living in the past. And, as long as JD, Ruby, Lucky and I are all together, I know we'd be happy if we lived in the middle of a real city like Seattle.
Now only if I could have my 25 year old body with my 41 year old brain.
